||[Apr. 14th, 2006|09:44 am]
Everything duct tape
Why I'd Rather Have a Roll of Duct Tape than a Boyfriend:|
1) Duct tape doesn't get tired of you, even after many years.
2) Duct tape doesn't care if you're not a busty blonde supermodel.
3) I've never heard of anyone abused by duct tape itself.
4) Duct tape doesn't care whether you're a virgin or not.
5) Duct tape doesn't have loser friends.
6) And it won't tell them all of your intimate secrets!
7) The word "commitment" doesn't scare off duct tape.
8) Duct tape is always glad to see you.
9) Duct tape will do ANYTHING you want, without whining, complaining, procrastinating, and/or being nagged.
10) When you use duct tape, you don't have to worry about who else has.
11) You can use duct tape on top of your desk during working hours, without upsetting your colleagues.
12) You can share duct tape with your friends.
13) You can easily have more than one roll.
14) No one ever starts nasty rumors about how much duct tape you use.
15) No matter how ugly, old, and/or fat you are, you can always get duct tape.
16) Your friends will gladly share their duct tape with you, if you ask nicely.
17) No one cares if you're much older than your duct tape roll.
18) If you don't have a roll of duct tape, you don't feel like a loser.
19) And, with the exception of Jim Nyberg and Tim Berg (The Duct Tape Guys), no one else thinks you are.
20) Duct tape doesn't think you owe it anything. ^_~
21) Duct tape understands the word "NO"
22) Duct tape is always there for you.
23) It doesn't attempt to hit on your best friend or your younger sister.
24) Good duct tape is easy to find.
25) Duct tape can look good.
26) If you run out, you can just get a new roll.
27) Duct tape doesn't abandon you for someone younger, prettier, and "dirtier".
28) Duct tape doesn't go through a mid-life crisis.
29) Duct tape doesn't expect you to take care of it.
30) You can safely use duct tape while driving.
31) Duct tape doesn't get jealous of other duct tape rolls.
32) If you're white, you can bring home black duct tape without upsetting your parents.
33) If you're black, you can bring home white duct tape without upsetting your parents.
34) Duct tape doesn't judge you by the size of your breasts or buttocks.
35) You won't burn and rot in hell if you use duct tape prior to your wedding night.
36) It's legal and socially acceptable to use duct tape in public.
37) Duct tape doesn't expect sex every time you go out.
38) Lack of duct tape is easily remedied with a trip to the hardware store.
39) Duct tape won't tell you it's married/in a relationship, gay, celibate, or some combination thereof.
40) Dinner and movie for two: $100. Roll of duct tape: about $5.00 You do the math.
41) If you don't like your duct tape, rip it up and throw it out!
42) Duct tape doesn't feel threatened if you're richer.
43) Even your big, mean, older brother will get along with duct tape.
44) Chances are, your father loves your duct tape as much as you do...and it's not creepy.
Guys, don't be offended by this. Many of these will apply to the girls you know, too. :-P Comments #32 and 33 aren't meant to be racist, but merely a statement of reality (at least for some people.) Not to be taken seriously, just something to be amusing. And if you can think of any more to add, please do! ^_^